Educate children without violence

Often parents ask to me "My son is hard to know if he thinks given, how the hell do I get the child according to parents? What got to hit first and think? "At this question, I often answer with a brief" What must be by force? ". And I often tell the story below so that they understand what it means to Educate Children Without Violence.

One day Dr. Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi, gave a lecture at the University of Puerto Rico. He tells a story of his life:

At that time I was 16 years old and living with parents in an institution founded by my grandfather, amid the sugar plantations, 18 miles outside of Durban, South Africa. We live far inland and has no neighbors. No wonder when my two sisters and I was very happy when there is an opportunity to go into town to visit friends or watch movies.

At one point, my father asked me to drive him into town to attend a full day conference. And, I am very pleased with the opportunity. Knew that I would go to town, the mother gives a list of groceries she needed. In addition, my father asked me to do some work pending, such as repairing a car in the garage.

Morning arrival at the conference, the father said, "Daddy hold you here at 5 o'clock. Then we'll come home together. "

Soon I finished the job work given by the father and mother. Then, I went to the movies. Well, I was really enamored with the two games that John Wayne would forget the time. So look at the clock pointed at 17:30, I immediately ran to the garage the car and hurried to where my father was waiting for me. It was nearly 18:00 o'clock!

Father nervously asked me, "Why are you late?" I am very ashamed to admit that I was watching a movie, so I said, "Earlier, the car was not ready so I had to wait."

In fact, it was without my knowledge, has been called the father's garage. And the father knew that if I lied. Then the father said, "There's something wrong in raising you, so you do not have the courage to tell the truth to the father. To punish the errors of this father, let my father walked home along the 18 miles and think about it. "

Then with fixed clothes and shoes, the father began to walk home. Though it was dark and the road was not flat. I could not leave father, so for five and a half hours, I was driving slowly behind him, saw him suffering just because the stupid lies I do.

Since then I never lie again. Often I think about this incident and was surprised. If my father punished me, as we punish our children, then whether I will get a lesson about educating non-violence? I likely will suffer the punishment it, realize it a little and do the same thing again. However, only one non-violent action that is extraordinary, so I just felt it was yesterday. That's the power to act without violence.

When we managed to build a very strong message in the subconscious of a child then that information will directly affect behavior. That is one form of hypnosis is very powerful. Is the opposite could happen? Yes could be! Therefore, we need complete confidence in doing so the positive results that we want must be achieved. This requires deep thinking and a strong sense of self and well-trained. Do not act as mere spontaneous reaction and later regret after doing so.

If we want to think a little back to the era in which our children are very young so at this time that all the "seeds" implanted behavior and attitudes. "Seeds" behaviors and attitudes that someday this will color the life of a teenager and adult. Who has planted "seed" behavior and attitudes for the first time? Yes you must already know the answer, it is our parents who instill all kinds of "seed" behavior and attitudes.

What if most of the time children spent with the nanny (baby sitter). Yes pray your nanny may have wise thoughts and can affect your child in a positive way. Expect nanny (baby sitter) you understand how the mind works and understand how to behave, saying and act well your child to obtain "seed" attitude and good behavior.

Someone can be good or bad must have for any "cause". Behavior, speech attitudes, and thoughts good or bad is just a series of "result" of a "cause" that has been implanted first. Could it happen "because" without "cause"? Could our children to lie for no reason, maybe our children "naughty" without cause, maybe we cranky child for no reason? As parents we must find out what the cause. It is not appropriate as our parents reacted so spontaneously without thinking about what we have just done. Is not this would give a new example for our children on how to act and behave?

When we have children we become parents, but we do not have any experience being a parent. We have the experience of being a child. So we must educate ourselves to learn from the children. Not learn from what parents do to us. Remember the feeling when we were still a child. Observe them and respond with interest what they want. Hope, treatment and recognition of what we want from parents who have never met?

Treat the children as we want to be treated! Do not treat the kids like what parents do to us.